Hundreds of dads nod their heads in knowing agreement when I state in my seminars: “When Mom ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!”
If you love your kids—it is my belief—that you owe it to them to put yourself first. Only when you take the time to nurture and pamper yourself will you truly be able to give more to your family.
Don’t just pay lip service to your self care—do something about it! Why? Because when we neglect our needs our body has ways (like making us sick) to MAKE us pay attention. And when we get sick we can’t be there for anyone. So I invite you—for the sake of your kids—to take action and make pampering YOU a priority
Ways to Take Time Out for You Without Mommy Guilt
Here are seven easy suggestions to take time out for you. If you need some mom TLC immediately, go right to the bottom of this page and take five minutes out to listen to my mom relaxation visualization.
1. Go on Strike! – Most moms do too much in their household—failing to realize that they are actually doing their family a disservice. Putting pressure on yourself to be and to do everything can lead to built up resentment that comes out in ugly ways. I suggest that moms go on strike in certain areas of their home in order to give their family members the opportunity to help out! My favorite go on strike area is meal times. Ensure the meal times in your home are a family event in which everyone helps. If no one shows up to help with dinner simply wait patiently until they do! Trust me hungry tummies are a huge motivator!
2. Breathe! – When we are stressed out our breath becomes shallow and we unconsciously forget to breathe. Not only does this prevent us from getting much needed oxygen but it actually leads to feeling more tired and more stressed. Put post-it notes up throughout your house to remind yourself to take conscious deep breaths throughout the day. The more conscious you can become of your breath, the more you can use your breath as a stress reliever.
3. Find Your Village! – We’ve all heard that it takes a village to raise a child and yet, many moms simply don’t know where their village is. Find your village and reach out to them so you can get much needed support and self-care too. Self-care should not be a luxury but a necessity for being a good mom and parent. There are moms in your community who would be happy to share child-care a couple times a week so you can both take some time off. Make certain you ask for what you need.
4. Five Gems of Friends! – Moms (no matter how much you love being a mom) you will have those days when… you know—you feel like you are in the parenting “deep end.” Nothing can support you like what I call your “gems of friends”—friends who love you in both the easy and challenging times in your life. Having at least five “gems of friends”—friends with whom you can share anything and everything—is critical. When you have at least five “gems of friends” you are almost guaranteed that one of them will be available in times of need. Make a pact to attract “gems of friends” into your life and ensure that you call and reach out to them.
5. Mommy Time Out – Moms need time to watch adult movies, time to dream, and time to be. The only person who can make the time happen is you. So make it a priority to make a date with you and pencil it in. Even if every morning you wake up 20 minutes early to read or write—make certain you take the time for you.
6. Exercise Without Going to the Gym – We all know that exercise is good for us (like broccoli) yet, often we don’t do what we know is good for us. Exercise is essential as it produces endorphins that actually make us feel better. We’ve got all excuses to not exercise (no gym membership, no time and not the right outfit). Yet, when it comes down to it a bit of exercise is far better than none at all. Start taking the stairs instead of the elevator (or escalator), walk instead of drive, and play more with your kids instead of just watching them play. And if you really want some incentive collaborate with your “gems of friends” to help hold you accountable to get your heart rate up.
7. Spa Time – Every mom should have a spa time now and again. An hour at the spa or a quick 45 minute manicure can do wonders for our mommy souls. Yet, an expensive spa isn’t the only way to replenish our spirit. Create your own spa time by stocking up on bath salts, candles and nail polish and make time to pamper you!
Pampering you, means being able to pamper your family even more. Commit to taking time out for you for the sake of your family and start thriving instead of simply surviving. Your family deserves to have a mom who is happy and only you can give this to them.