The Permissive Parenting Style
The permissive parenting style, otherwise called “indulgent,” is that used by parents that are very responsive to their children, but do not set up many boundaries for the kids. It differs greatly from authoritarian parenting, because the parents have few rules.
It differs from uninvolved parenting because these parents are very involved with their kids; they just are very indulgent to their children’s wishes.
Not setting boundaries might stem from the parents having a lower expectation of the kids’ ability to follow rules. Also, it could be that the parents want to be “fun”, or just not too hard on their children.
We’ve all seen examples of the permissive parenting style. It is where parents tend to allow kids to self-regulate, requiring little maturity from them. They don’t often discipline their children because they don’t expect them to act differently than the way that they do.
Baumrind said that these parents respond to their children versus having expectations for good behavior ahead of time. They avoid confrontation with their kids. They often tend to be friends with their children foregoing many good parenting skills when they deal with their kids because they don’t want that confrontation. They also tend to revert to bribery when they need to get their children to do something.
I know that I’ve seen this in action a lot! And the thing is, the parents have NO IDEA why their children are so needy, or “high-maintenance.” Or, they wonder why they — as parents — are SO exhausted at the end of the day. One thing that the parents might NOT ask is why their kids seem self-absorbed. They don’t think to ask because they just might not even see that in their own kids.
Can you see how these kids might develop an inability to deal with authority? They basically haven’t been taught to respect authority in their own homes. Makes sense, right?